Me as a cartoon

Ryan David

Comedy Writer and photoshop menace. Bylines in Slackjaw, Points in Case, Robot Butt, and [coming soon!]. Staff writer for End of the Bench Sports.

Updates

Oct 5

Check out my new piece in End of the Bench Sports, called "Pete Rose’s Lifetime MLB Ban Expires."

Find out more

This image says "My favorites" and it indicates that the articles below it are my favorites from different publications. The next two images are placeholders

Chuck E Cheese, notable evil rat, looks in the distance, his eyes unfocused. Behind him the bowels of hell surge. The article title is "Why the Chuck E Cheese rat is the sole architect of my depression"

An astutely dressed man showing clear signs of sadness sits with his face pressed into his palms. The article text reads, "I have googled 'foot pain' and regret to inform you that I am dying"

Mark Wahlberg faces the camera with his arms spread and a welcoming smile. Directly behim him is a giant, floating license plate that says, "Welcome to Boston, Massachusetts."

This image says "Slackjaw" and it indicates that the articles below it are from that publications. The next two images are placeholders

A cartoon stick figure holds their hands to their head as if to convey a headache. Behind them is an explosion. The article title is, "Why choosing indeed for your employment needs is marginally better than starving to death in a bleak world."

A robotic and irradiant Mark Zuckerberg looks very dorky and vacant. He is in front of a circuit-like background. The title of the article is, "Eight totally reasonable tips to pass the coding exam."

This image says "The Haven and Robot Butt" and it indicates that the articles below it are from those publications. The next two images are placeholders

The moon and earth are shown in space. The moon has merged with some sort of apocalyptic, zodiac-like clock. The earth looks about the same but a mushroom cloud pokes out from its surface. The article title is "Horoscopes for the Apocalypse," and the subtitle is, "Astrological predictions for a world torn asunder."

ce8f8d31e636 The silhouette of a man from behind, presumed to be Donald Trump, stares through prison bars at the american flag. The article title reads, "He definitely can't run for office now, unless of course he does"

A wrestler jumps from the high rope of a wrestling ring; beneath, lies his competitor, helpless to the impact that is about to occur. The article title reads, "Vaguely sports-like activities snubbed by the Olympics."

This image says "End of the Bench" and it indicates that the articles below it are from that publication. The next two images are placeholders

A cartoon referee points their fingers in the shape of a gun to the right. Below is the article title, "NFL Introuduces New Injury Designation for Players Who Get Shot"

A chalk outline of a person but with a massive baseball for a head is shown on concrete. The title of the article reads, "Eaten by wolves: Mr. Met, Dead at 60"

Raptors and players storm the court of a basketball arena. The article title reads, "Toronto Raptors reveal they've created a fully operational Jurassic Park with live Raptors." The subtitle says, "We really fucked up."

A child looks listlessly forward wearing baseball attire. The article's is overlain atop and says "Little League Star Suspended for Orange Juicing"

A jovial old man looks out at the camera with a thumbs up. Behind him burns the Olympic flame and above is the article's title, "Local dad excited to joke 'pardon my french' during paris olympics.'"

Static TV has the article title over the screen. It reads, "Report: MLB.TV Blackouts Will not Affect In-Person Games

A Japanese man on the far-right side gawks in disbelief. He stands in front of a wall advertising the publication the article is on, "End of the Bench." Overlaid is the article title, "Shohei Ohtani's Interpreter Signs With DraftKings"

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